I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
