Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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