we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize