I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
