I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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