did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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