Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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