question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
