Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Randomize