i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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