got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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