is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
