ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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