Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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