He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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