So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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