Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
God, I missed his penis.
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