some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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