Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
