Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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