filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize