you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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