ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
