yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
