How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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