so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
