just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
