We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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