Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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