Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Welp...herpes.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
