my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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