It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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