My nipple is on Facebook.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
