You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
