I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
