I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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