The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have surprise drugs for everyone
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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