Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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