Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Soap is not a condiment
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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