I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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