dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
