Non-Jews are for practice
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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