I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
