Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
