There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
