hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
