The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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