No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
