In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just cropdusted the office
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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