Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
