READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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