Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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