Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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