there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
