Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Is this like a preordered booty call?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
