It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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