guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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